Somebody recently pointed out to me that travelling is a lot like courtship. It is best if you try not to burden the destination (or person, in the case of courting) with a lot of unrealistic expectations. To a great degree, I agree that going on a long journey is a lot like dating. The only difference here is that you travel not to decide whether you will stay at your destination forever, whereas the ideal motive of a well-intentioned date is to see if you indeed will marry that person. The best trips (and likewise, the best dates) are those where you don’t have a rigid bucket list or boxes that need to be ticked. You begin with an open mind and discover the beauty of the unknown, slowly unfolding before you.

Should You Complain When The Going Gets Tough?

I hope I will not complain about muscle pain when I finally get to hike on the Bernese Alps.

Before I went on my first multi-day snow trek in the Himalayas, I had an almost romantic view of trekking. I would think it was all about sleeping in pretty little tents, trudging up soft mounds of snow and looking pretty in 3 layers of winter-hiking gear. Then reality hit me like a hard slap on my face. The 70+ kilometres of walking in heavy shoes made my feet swell. When the terrain and view refused to change even after several hours of hiking, I forgot the very reason I had signed up for the trek. My peeling skin, rough hair and tanned face did not make me feel pretty anymore. But I rediscovered my joy when I realized I had pulled off the feat. Travelling, much like courtship, throws a lot of curveballs at us. While it is not a bad thing to complain, it certainly isn’t advisable to give up halfway.

The Worth of Simplicity

Will I be able to appreciate the simplicity of laidback European countryside?

Sophistication seems to be the “in thing”, especially when it comes to luxury travel experiences. One cannot fall asleep until one knows the thread count of one’s sheets, one finds it hard to digest one’s meal if one isn’t sure the ingredients are organic, the pictures aren’t perfect till they have been varnished with filters. In my honest opinion, sophistication kills real beauty. When you let the real things just be, they are most beautiful. In the context of a soulmate, truth dwells in simplicity. External adornment may be attractive, but it is, after all, a lie.

Beyond What Meets The Eye

Journeys are more beautiful when you can see beyond your immediate surroundings.

When I had first begun travelling solo, I would weigh everything at face value. If I was happy with the number of things I could see, activities I could participate in and the types of food I could eat, I would consider it a good trip. It is after years of being conditioned by long journeys that I have now become a different kind of traveller. I look to make memories, I travel slow, I talk to the locals more often and for much longer. I had contacts then. I have friends now. You may not find your date to be your potential mate at the very first meeting. But you will discover things you did not expect to find when you hang in there a little longer.

Appreciating The Little Joys Along The Way

Can you find your joy in small things? (Miniature Europe at Madurodam, Holland)

If travelling is your way of getting a dose of that elusive medicine called “happiness”, then you would do well to enjoy the small things that most people think nothing of – a smiling stranger who helps you with your luggage, an extra dollop of butter on your aloo paratha, a softer bedspread than you had paid for. It is hard to be happy when your eyes are only trained on the flashy things that the billboards suggest you should lust after. So it is in matters of finding a partner. The lower your expectations are the happier you’ll be when you find absolutely anything of value in your companion.

Is It Tunnel-Vision Or Narrow-Mindedness?

There is no room for narrow-mindedness, either in courtship or travel experiences, even when you cross the narrow canals of Venice.

I have often come across travellers who will plan everything down to the very last detail (and that includes listing down which snack they will eat where). Then there are those who cannot stand alternate points of view or ways of doing things. Some may say that they have a tunnel-vision. But most hover dangerously close to being narrow-minded. Over planning and bucket listing have murdered the romance of travelling to a new place. We really need a culture of blind-travelling, like blind dating, where you have no idea of where you will go or what you will do even if you know where you’re going. My long trip to the USA taught me how interesting life can be when nothing is planned beforehand. #TheBlindList is a good idea to have a blind (travel) date with the world – a list without expectations.

The Best Ones Help You Rediscover Yourself

Trips are meaningful when they help you indulge in some self-reflection.

Both places and life-partners play a part in helping you know yourself better. A trip worth making is one that will make you sit quietly and reflect on your life, your dreams, and where you’re headed. Likewise, a relationship is most fragrant when it makes you rethink who you are and how you serve your better half in the capacity of the other half. If our vacations are only making us busier than our workdays, we should be redesigning how we do them. There is a definite need for downtime, soul-searching and introspection.

When Things Don’t Work Out

Don’t let a bad travel-date get you down. (I sulk after a particularly bad day in California.)

I’ve saved a vital piece of advice for the last. What happens when a long trip (or many months of dating) doesn’t end well? We must remember that travelling helps us discover a new place (and ourselves at the same time), just as dating helps us know whether a person is “the one”. The ending will only make things clear. And clarity is precious. We emerge wiser and better equipped for the next date, and to #SayYesToTheWorld on our next trip.

Do you still make bucket lists?

Wish to go on a blind-trip, knowing nothing about the destination?

Let me know through your comments below. 🙂

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